Toph and Tom-Tom Snippets

The Order
Mai: Where did you send Tom-Tom on his first mission?

Zuko: To 'escort and guard' Toph.

"'I'm picturing Zuko and Mai sitting in the throne room of the palace, laughing their asses off.'"

Meeting Up
"How did Tom-Tom and Toph first join together to track the kids? The original Gaang tries chasing the kids down for the first episode or two, then realize that this is seriously interfering with their various duties. So they decide to send Toph after them with Tom-Tom there to keep her in check (and possibly as some sort of punishment for his ambition). Of course, first Tom-Tom needs to track Toph down (she's a wanderer, that woman)."

I'm fine with other ideas, of course, just as long as Toph's introduction can be in the middle of a barfight...

Toph: Lil' Tom-Tom? Is that you? Oh, I haven't seen you in forever!

Tom-Tom: Well, it has been almost a year, but I don't think that counts as...

Toph: (grins)

Toph and Tom-Tom Drinking
Toph: Aww, cheer up, beanpole! So they got away, who cares? It’s our day off!

Tom-Tom: (sighs) For the third time, we don’t get a day off, Captain Toph. We tried to capture them TODAY, remember? That means that we were WORKING today. Like we work EVERY day.

Toph: Then why’re we drinking?

Tom-Tom: WE are not drinking. I am having a drink. Singular. YOU are drinking…and I should think you’ve had quite enough.

Toph: You’re right, I can’t see straight! Ahahaha!!

Tom-Tom: Spirits save me…

Tom-Tom and Tyzula
"Tom-Tom has a Yi Lin moment, but unfortunately for him, he chooses the wrong audience."

Tom-Tom: Don't you think Azula and Ty Lee are getting a little close over there?

Toph: Azula and Ty Lee? I can't see it.

Tom-Tom: Well, I know it's not to be expected. I'm not really insinuating anything, I guess. But they spend all the time they spend together, but it IS Azula...

Toph: Tom-Tom. What you're talking about. I can't see it.

Tom-Tom: That's why I'm explaining-Oh! Oh, no, Toph, I'm so sorry. I forgot, you don't, you can't, well, you don't have trouble ever so sometimes it slips...my...mind.

(Toph is grinning broadly at him.)

Tom-Tom:...You set me up for these, don't you?

Toph: I can't help it, it's just so easy! You get all cute when you're flustered.

(Toph reaches up, brushing a hand on his face before finding and pinching a cheek, then strolls over to talk with Azula and Ty Lee.)

Tom-Tom: (to himself) Cute? Hehe, no. Get real Tom.

(Smiling, the Captain heads below deck.)

Yeah, This Happens a Lot
Tom-Tom: I don't see what's so funny about this situation!

Toph: Me neither.

Tom-Tom: Then why are you laugh-FFFFFFFFFFFFF!!

Heroics
Tom Tom: The life of a soldier is a one without regret. We enlist knowing we may never reach old age. We fight knowing that it might be our last. When we mourn our fallen comrades, we know as well as they did that they chose this fate. And we move on with a stoic heart.

Toph: ... you read a lot of illustrated scrolls as a kid, didn't you.

Tom Tom: (under his breath) ...I am the Wolfbat.

Tom Tom and Ching
Dr. Genome writes:

"Okay, so this is based on two assumptions I have about Ching the Wild, which may not be the general consensus. (1), she gets her crew back once she joins up with Junren’s cause, and (2), she’s in her mid-twenties."

"So anyway, while the kids are off dealing with the Fire Nation supremacists during the Season 1 finale, the pirates attack Toph and Tom Tom’s ship to prevent them barging in at the last moment and saving the day. Toph is incapacitated early on (I dunno, maybe they used shirshu darts or something), leaving Tom Tom to deal with the attackers. This leads to a rather awesome fight scene in which we see that he actually knows how to use a sword, but he’s eventually overwhelmed. Two thugs are holding his arms behind his back while Ching stands in front of him, all smug-like."

Ching: (insert pirate-y accent here) Well, Cap’n, that was quite the fight you gave us there. You’re a worthy opponent, but that doesn’t change the fact that we’re gonna slit your throat and toss you to the fishies.

Tom Tom: I understand. But may you grant me one final request?

Ching: (raising eyebrow) If it suits me.

Tom Tom: I would be honored if I could receive a kiss from this princess of pirates who has bested me in battle before I die.

Ching: (laughs) Alright, I’ll give you your wish, you silly little man. Who says I’m not a romantic?

(As she leans forward, Tom Tom headbutts her with all his might, sending her staggering backwards. Taking advantage of his captors’ surprise, he pulls down, causing their heads to collide with similar effect.)

"I honestly don’t know what would happen after that. Maybe He’d be able to fight them off, or maybe Toph would come to and unleash her fearsome might. If so, it might be necessary to give her the line, “Hey, that’s my bread and butter you’re messing with.”"

Telescope
Tom-Tom: (Looking through reports as he comes onto deck, seeing Toph there) Good morning. There doesn't seem to be any current information regarding the whereabouts of...what are you doing with my telescope?

Toph: Just keeping a lookout, Tom-boy.

Tom-Tom: Ah, well anyway I suggest we start searching- (Realises she can't actually see and snatches it off her with a 'What an idiot I was' grimace) -give me that. It would help if you took this job more seriously Captain Toph. After all we've been charged by the Fire Lord and Avatar with the duty of-

Toph: -'Returning the kids safely to their parents and' blah blah yeah I know. But come on Tom-boy, don't you think that this adventure we're going on isn't just a LITTLE bit fun?

Tom-Tom: It's NOT an 'adventure', it's a mission. OUR mission, unless you've forgotten, and I intended to succeed at it.

Toph: (Sulks over railguard) You're a real stick-in-the-mud, Tom-boy...

Tom-Tom: Well you'd know, being the Earthbender. Now, my plan...

"Later:"

Tom-Tom: (Pointing off to Gaang Jr.'s ship) There! Is that them?!

Toph: (With telescope) Yup, sure looks that way.

Tom-Tom: Excellent! Let's put the...why must you do that to me?

Toph: Dunno. Because you keep falling for it and it's fun?

Tom-Tom: (Snatches his telescope back) There's nothing 'fun' about intentionally impeding the progress of our mission Captain Toph, and you'd do well to remember that (Looks through scope)...did you black out the lens on this?!

Toph: I found it made me a more accurate lookout.

Earth Rumble
Toph: (Jumps off ship onto dry land) Earth! Oh how I've missed you.

Tom-Tom: (Walking down the access ramp) Well don't be too overjoyed, we're only here at port to pick up supplies. I expect we'll be gone by-

Toph: (Overhears an announcer) Oh man, Earth Rumble 24 is in town tonight!! Let's go check it out!

Tom-Tom: Now I hardly think we have the time to go to something like that, we're wasting enough time as it is...besides, don't you already have the Rumble Belt on you?

Toph: Yeah, I should really give it back to them someday...and no day like the present! Come on beanpole, live a little!

Tom-Tom: Beanpo-? Look, NO. For all we know those kids could be leagues away by now getting up to god-knows what trouble! There's barely a sensible one among-

Toph: (Still listening to the announcer) -Yue!

Tom-Tom: Well yes, I suppose she's fairly sensible...

Toph: No, I mean she's in the tournament!

Tom-Tom: WHAT?! (Runs over to grab a flier)

Toph: Atta girl, I knew she'd get that Earthbending nerve sooner or later!

Tom-Tom: Of all the- that is NO place for a child to be! She could get seriously injured!

Toph: Or kick some serious butt!

Tom-Tom: Out of the question. Toph, you're entering this rumble.

Toph: Yes!

Tom-Tom: -But ONLY to knock her out of it as safely as possible, alright? Then we'll take her back to the ship and get the rest of them. That's the plan.

Toph: *Sigh* Sourpuss.

Tom-Tom: (Ignoring her and looking at the flyer) Tch. And she seemed so sensible too...

Unconvinced
Tom-Tom: Listen, why don't you just TALK to your friends and tell them to come back home with us?

Tseng: What, you don't think I've tried that? They hardly sit still long enough to stop themselves going overboard, let alone to listen to me.

Tom-Tom: Well then why don't you just come home?

Tseng: Well...I...I've got to look out of my sister; she'd just fly away if I wasn't around, y'know? (Pause) And...

Tom-Tom: Hmm?

Tseng: ...Well...it is a LITTLE bit exciting...

Toph: YEAH! Sing it brother!

Tom-Tom: (Gives her a look) You're NOT helping here.

Peach Fuzz
Tom-Tom: Whoa! (Catches Toph from a fall, causing them both to hit the deck) Unf!

Toph: Beanpole! You...(Feels his moustache)...need to drink more milk kiddo, or that's never going to grow out.

Tom-Tom: (Frowning and shoving her off) I'll take that under advisement; now come on, they're escaping!

Pain
Tom-Tom: You didn't have to punch me that hard, you know.

Toph: And here was me thinking "Captain Moustache" could handle getting punched by a girl.

Tom-Tom: There are girls, there are ladies, and then there is you, Captain Toph. And I'd prefer it if you'd take that into account if you feel the need to do that again.

Toph: Gotcha. (Punches him again in the sling-arm)

Tom-Tom: !!! (Pained whisper) Why...

Toph: What? I was gentle.

Cactus Juice
"'And someone suggested the Gaang get wasted on juice. I figure the two people chasing them should too.'"

Tom-Tom: Captain Toph?

Toph: (Looks over slowly) Mmmmmmm?

Tom-Tom: This evening's tea seems to taste a little...funny.

Toph: Hee heee heeee. That's because I spiiiked it.

Tom-Tom: You did WHA- Oh actually, that WOULD explain why the moon's hitting on me.

Yue: Ohh Tom-Tom, you're a reaaal moon's man...

Tom-Tom: I'VE HEARD THE STORIES, MOON! I KNOW I'D JUST BE FILLING IN FOR SOKKA!!

Toph: Eeeeheeeheeee....Sokka.

Proper Motivation
"At some point, the kids are on Toph and Tom-Tom's ship, after being rescued from something they can't handle:"

Tom-Tom: Young lady, get down from there right now!

Yi Lin: (Swinging from the ships tower) Why?

Tom-Tom: (Getting frustrated) J- Because it's dangerous that's why! And I'm the captain of this ship so do as you're told!

Yi Lin: (Still swinging around) I thought Toph was the captain?

Tom-Tom: Well, she is, but I'm a captain too so just-

Yi Lin: -Oooh, you're BOTH Captains? Oh, how romantic, two captains, falling in love on the ocean waves...

Tom-Tom: Doing WHAT?! That's- YOU-

Yi Lin: (Singsong) You can't deny the Proooof...

Tom-Tom: I...Oh I give up. If you won't come down by yourself then I'm coming up to-

Tseng: (Opens a door) Yi Lin! Dinnertime!

Yi Lin: Yeah, dinner! (Slides by her legs down the pole and half-jumps off, rolling onto the deck then through the mess-hall's open door)

(Tom-Tom and Tseng share a glance.)

Tseng: ...You've a long way to go, Captain.

(Door shuts. Tom-Tom facepalms through aggravation.)

Break Room
Tom-Tom: See, now this is what happens when I let you in the break room.

Toph: What's our damage? The place is what it looks like.

Tom-Tom: No it's not, you BROKE THE WHOLE ROOM. WHY IS THERE A HOLE IN THE WALL?

Toph: I thought you were supposed to break stuff in here?

Tom-Tom: You're literally reading it that way?

Toph: ....(grins)

Tom-Tom: Ugh, I'm not even going to go there. Just clean this up. And get someone to help you clean this place up.

Toph: Okay. (Grabs Tom-Tom by the scruff of his collar as the door closes.

Swab the Poopdeck
Tom-Tom: TOPH! What happened!? I asked you to swab the poopdeck!

Toph: (grins) You like it?

Tom-Tom: NO! Why is it covered with dirt? It's filfthy!

Toph: Hey, I can't help it if I feel homesick. Call it a "Woman's Touch."

Tom-Tom: If you were any more "womanly"---

Toph: Then you wouldn't be a man!

The Inn-cident
(Toph and Tom-Tom run down a random inn corridor)

Toph: I know I felt them enter this place!

Tom-Tom: Good work, Toph!

Toph: Quick, they're behind this door!

(Tom-Tom breaks open the door, and instead of finally capturing the Gaang Jr, he intrudes on a couple having a rather private moment.)

Tom-Tom: (Blushes furiously) M-my apologies.

(Tom-Tom closes door, glaring at Toph.)

Toph: Whoops, wrong door!

Town Highlights
(Toph and Tom-Tom walk through a remote town after the Gaang Jr. escaped ...again.)

Toph: Oh, lighten up! At least we can check out this place! There's a bar over there, a meat-filled restaurant, a kissing booth---

Tom-Tom: A What?!

Toph: ..........Nuh-uh. Not for you, beanpole. No point in encouraging young'uns when they haven't got a chance...

(drags Tom-Tom away by the ear)

Letters from Home
Tom-Tom: Hey, isn't that a messenger hawk?

Toph: I wouldn't know.

Tom-Tom: (ignoring Toph as hawk perches on is arm) Hey, it's got the royal Fire Nation seal! It must be from my sister!!


 * Dear Tom-Tom,


 * How's the mission with Toph coming along?


 * ~Mai and Zuko

Toph: So what's it say?

Tom-Tom: Nothing. Nothing at all. (balls up letter and tosses it overboard, then storms off)

Toph: Awww, I didn't even get to read it!

The Military's Flaw
Tom-Tom: With all due respect, Captain Toph, I graduated from the Fire Nation Military Academy, the top of my class in Weaponry, Tactics and Strategy, Navigation, Tracking, and Infiltration. I am more than qualified to handle this mission.

Toph: Mhm, yeah, great. Wanna know one thing they didn't teach you in school?

Tom-Tom: What's that, Captain?

(Toph grabs Tom-Tom by his shirt and pulls him down to her eye-level)

Toph: How to deal with women.

Filing Reports
Tom-Tom: Permission to enter the Captain's quarters.

Toph: For crying out loud, just get in here!

Tom-Tom: (Enters) Captain Tom-Tom, reporting to file the ship's log.

Toph: Great. I'll look it over as soon as I can see.

Every Good Ship Needs...
Toph: What's the ship's status today, Tom-Tom?

Tom-Tom: Course is routed north by northeast, cruising at 21 knots, coast is now out-of-sight, and steady as she goes, Captain.

Toph: Great. Question, Tom-Tom.

Tom-Tom: Yes?

Toph: Can you sing?

Tom-Tom: ...Beg pardon?

Toph: Do not make me repeat myself. Answer the question!

Tom-Tom: I... ah... Well, a little bit, Captain.

Toph: Excellent. One more question.

Tom-Tom: Yes, Captain?

Toph: ...Know any good sea shanties?

Landing Party
Tom-Tom: Ship ahoy! Ship ahoy!

Toph: Who is it?

Tom-Tom: Well, if you hadn't blacked out the lens on my telescope, I'd know who it was, wouldn't I? ...But it looks as though it might be the kids!

Toph: Hmmm...Tom-Tom, how close are we to shore?

Tom-Tom: Running right along the starboard side, just far enough to keep her bottom from scraping on the shoals.

Toph: Great! Organize a landing party immediately.

Tom-Tom: But Captain, they're not beached! They're full sail and heading out to sea!

Toph: I haven't touched real earth for two days. I'm feeling seasick, here.

Tom-Tom: I... apologize, but I really think we should---

Toph: Are you questioning my authority? Should I write a letter concerning your insubordination to the Fire Lord and Lady? Maybe even that fancy Military Academy you constantly go on about?

Tom-Tom: .... You wouldn't dare.

Toph: (grabs Tom-Tom by the scruff of his collar) Oh, believe me. I would.

Tom-Tom: Organizing a landing party at once, Captain!

(somewhere out in sea, aboard the Gaang Jr's ship) 

Irah: Hey... Isn't that Toph and Tom-Tom's ship?

Yi Lin: ...Yeah, I think you're right!

Irah: Why do you think they're sending in a landing party? Surely if we can see them, they can see us.

Hayoda: Never question Lady Luck. Full speed ahead!