Kazuma Snippets

Avoiding Fights
"'I imagine Kazuma trying his most to avoid fights:'"

Dude: You're asking for it old man!

Kazuma: Oh yeah? OH YEAH?! Come on! (steps back and forth) Not sure you'd want to face these two bad boys though. La and Tui, Earth and Fire, Air and Water. Yeah! These fists have the power of the Avatar!

Dude: Ugh, forget it...

Hayoda: You know you looked like a complete idiot.

Kazuma: But I didn't have to fight, did I? And anyway who says I'm not...

Pairings
"After someone photoshopped the family tree to show a mysterious child of Aang and Azula:"

(Yue looks incredulously at Kazuma.)

Yue: "Okay, I know that one is a lie."

Kazuma: "What makes you say that?"

Yue: "You're 30 years years older than uncle Aang and auntie Azula."

Kazuma: "Yeah, okay. That was just me making stuff up."

(Yue looks disappointedly at Kazuma.)

Kazuma: "But the one about Jun and me was true, though."

(Yue looks at Kazuma with big adoring eyes.)

Yue: "Wow! Really?

Pacifism
(Kazuma and Hayoda are in an alley, backs against the wall with two enemies attacking them.)

Kazuma: Hey, settle down! I'm a pacifist! A person who turns the other cheek at the sight of violence!

(He says this while punching a thug's jaw, turning him where he stood, then crumpling on the ground unconscious)

Hayoda: What do you mean you're a pacifist?! You just knocked that guy out!

Kazuma: Oh, he's a pacifist as well. He's not fighting now, is he? I just turned his other cheek for him!

Healing
(Yi Lin is talking animatedly to Toph. Toph turns her head to look at Kazuma who then taps Tseng's shoulder.)

Tseng: What is it?

Kazuma: Can you pull out some water and get ready to heal? I think a fight's coming on.

(He points to Toph and Yi Lin)

Tseng: What? Aunt Toph won't hurt her. I'm sure of it!

Kazuma: I didn't say it was for them....

(He sighs as Toph marches toward him.)

Kazuma: That's for me.

Probing Questions
Kazuma: Hey...

Jing: Excuse me?

Kazuma: ...So...you and Tseng, huh?

Jing: What about us?

Kazuma: You an item, right? As in, boyfriend-girlfriend?

Jing: Wha-- oh, that. It's just common courtesy to do something like that.

Kazuma: ...(stares)

Jing: Okay, fine, yes. Yes we are, but he's not admitting it yet, so I'm not pushing for it.

Kazuma: I see... well, isn't he a little young for you?

Jing: What do you mean?

Kazuma: He's thirteen. And you're what?

Jing: So we have an age difference, he behaves beyond his years and that makes up for it.

Kazuma: Wouldn't it be better if you hooked up with someone closer to yours?

Jing: ...

Kazuma: Like Hayoda, for instance.

Jing: (scoffs) What? You have got to be kidding me.

Kazuma: Well, you seem to be both athletic and you made a great team back at that cave.

Jing: It doesn't matter if we make a great team or not. I'd rather pull my tongue out and jump skip rope in the middle of a storm before I do something like... HONESTLY!

(Jing storms angrily away, leaving Kazuma staring. After a few moments, he coughs politely.)

Kazuma: I don't think they're a couple. So I guess your proof isn't worth much after all.

(Yi Lin jumps out of the bushes)

Yi Lin: That's what you think! You felt the tension right? They are just hiding it so no one notices. It's more proof!

Kazuma: Right... (walks away) ...crazy kid.

Smoking
Yue: Why is Mr. Ginji smoking a cigarette?

Kazuma: Because he doesn't know how to smoke a pipe.

Yue: .....what?

Kazuma: It's a joke. You'll learn it when you get older. Maybe. Anyway, what you want?

Yue: Well, my mom said that smoking is bad for your lungs.

Kazuma: That's what I've been trying to tell him for a year now. It's disgusting and expensive habit. I mean... (looks at Ginji smoking)

Kazuma: ...who do you think for your stick, huh?

Ginji: (stretches its throat, like before a frog croaks, but instead it blows out a ring of smoke) Ribbit...

Kazuma: Yeah, nice trick, but if that's all you can do,then I'm cutting you off.

Ginji: RIBBIT!

Yue: Mr. Kazuma is right, Mr. Ginji. Smoking is bad for you.

Ginji: Ribbit...(looks between the two, then its eyes start to widen and acts hurt.)

Yue: Oh,no....Yue don't look at his ribbit pout! No--crap.

(Kazuma looks over to Yue who's tearing up.)

Yue: Aw...I suppose it would be sad if it stopped its only enjoyment....can he--

(Kazuma sighs and pulls out a cigarette from its pocket)

Kazuma: Here. But this is your last one for today, we've got a whole day before we reach the next. Lousy toad...

Yue: Oh thank you for understanding!

(glomps Kazuma then picks up the frog)

Kazuma: No one can resist that darn ribbit pout.

(to the side)

Tseng: Did you just lose an argument to a frog?

Kazuma: I could've won that time.

Tseng: You're just one weird man.

Kazuma: Tell that to the green kid. I never saw someone talk to Ginji like that.

Tseng: We're all weird here. She fits right in.