Hayoda Snippets

Theme Song
"With apologies to Thurop Van Orman."

It is early morning, and the daughter and son of Avatar Aang are still asleep in their shared bedroom. But the older of the two is awakened by the voice of her cousin Hayoda, who is peering through the window.

“Yi Lin! Hey, Yi Lin!” he says. She looks up at him groggily, and he beckons with his hand. “Come with me, we’ll go and see a place called Monkey Island!”

At this, her brother awakes. “Who needs Monkey Island?” Tseng demands, rubbing his eyes. “It’s safer in Gaoling.”

“But there ain’t no joyful animals,” Hayoda insists, “A sprintin' round, who sing!”

“It’s dangerous and risky!” Tseng continues, gesturing passionately.

“But adventurous and free!” Hayoda adds with equal fervor. This gets Yi Lin’s attention.

“Adventure, that’s the life for me!” she sings, standing up.

“There’s hogmonkeys,” Hayoda gushes, “In the big blue sea!”

“That doesn’t sound like fun to me,” Tseng grumbles.

Suddenly, the rest of the cast emerges from the background, singing, “The great adventures of…”

“GAANG JUNIOR!” Yi Lin finishes, jumping into the air. The series title/logo appears and is immediately eaten off screen by the Unagi.

Just Wondering
Hayoda: Hey, Tseng.

Tseng: What's up?

Hayoda: Oh, nothing, I just, uh, felt like saying hi to y— is it true that people can explode when they're struck by lightning?

Tseng: Um... I don't think so.

Hayoda: But it happens to trees.

Tseng: Sure, but wood is a lot more brittle than flesh. When the water inside it boils, it shatters instead of bending. I think that's the same reason it, like, blows people's shoes and clothes off.

Hayoda: Their sap BOILS INSIDE THEM!?

Tseng: Yeah, lightning is intensely hot, even though the strike only lasts for the tiniest fraction of a second. Sometimes when it strikes the beach, it melts sand into glass. It looks like a little stalactite buried in the ground; I found one once, it was really neat — I can show you it som—

Hayoda: It can MELT SAND into GLASS!?

Tseng: Yeah, I don't really understand why it's possible for people to survive being struck by it. Most times their hearts just stop, but sometimes they get away with just really bad burns. Well, if they're not paralyzed from it frying their brain.

Hayoda: ...

Tseng: But don't worry, man. The chances of being struck by lightning are so low that you shouldn't ever be at risk unless you do something incredibly stupid, like climb on top of the roof during a thunderstorm and start waving your sword around.

Tseng: Oh hey, looks like my sister's calling me. I'll talk to you later man.

(Tseng claps Hayoda on the shoulder and walks off. Hayoda watches him leave, with a shellshocked expression.)

Hayoda: ...unless I do something... incredibly stupid...

Let's Talk
Another hand suddenly clamps down on Hayoda's same shoulder, polished nails biting gently into his flesh. With a squeak, Hayoda whirls around, face to face with Azula.

"Hey you!" she says warmly. "Have you seen my niece?"

"NO! Never! Noteventhatonetime, I swear!" Hayoda blurts out, backing away with his hands raised. For a moment, Azula's mouth opens and closes in silent confusion. Her eyes narrow, regarding the young man with wary speculation.

"Hayoda, are you feeling alright? You seem a little stressed. Believe me, I know the symptoms."

"It's nothing. Really. I just found out sap explodes," he tells her quickly.

"Oookay. Come with me, mister. I'm going to show you a meditation trick I doubt Ty Lee's gotten around to teaching you." Azula takes Hayoda's shoulders in both hands and steers him away from the group, toward the nearby tree line.

"No, really, please, but..." he stammers, futilely attempting to wriggle away.

"Don't worry, sweetheart," she says, giving him a squeeze. "The sap won't hurt you. This'll be fun. We haven't really talked, just you and I, have we? What better opportunity?" Hayoda whimpers and ceases to struggle, slumping in defeat and dread.

Azula flashes a glance out of the corner of her eye, catching her niece sitting some distance away. Irah chats animatedly with Yi Lin. Breaking into a wry, ominous smile, the older woman continues leading Hayoda to the forest.

"I know a perfect topic too," she says.

Pirate Daughter
(Regarding the daughter of a pirate captain: "she likes boys a lot, perhaps also Hayoda, however she would also seriously be trying to hurt him.")

(NOTE: The pirate in this concept eventually evolved into Ching the Wild.)

Hayoda: Oh yeah, she's crazy for me.

Tseng: She threw a knife at you!

Yi Lin: She was aiming for his heart, because she loves him.

Hayoda: Exactly! ...What?

Hunting Trip
Takes place during a hunting trip that goes bad. (Hayoda and Tseng are up in a tree, while a wild animal is sleeping at the base of it)

Hayoda: Hey Tseng, can ask you something about your sister?

Tseng: Sure, I guess it will help kill the time until this thing goes away.

Hayoda: I've been meaning to ask you about your sister, is she 'alright'?

Tseng: What do you mean, 'alright'?

Hayoda: You know, is she 'all there'?

Tseng: I'm not sure I understand your questions, but she is perfectly healthy, if that is what your mean.

Hayoda: No, I mean, when your guys are home, is she always like that? Is she always so simple minded, and a bit slow on the uptake?

Tseng: Listen, I don't like your insinuations, this is my sister you are talking about, and your cousin. Besides, you are one to talk, it's your fault we are in this ordeal in the first place. I suggest you watch what you say about her, go it? (Tseng giving him the same look that his mother had once given Zuko)

Hayoda: Of course, buddy, forget I ever mentioned it. (actually quite intimidated)

Hilara
(if Hayoda was trained in Kyoshi fighting styles, then that means...)

Hayoda: "Hey dad! Check it out! I get to be a Kyoshi warrior!"

Sokka: (trying not to laugh) "That's great, son!"

(Some of the others remember "her" quite well...)

Irah: Hilara?

Yue: She was my friend for a while... She was in the Kyoshi Warriors... I don't know where she went...

Drunk Hayoda
(NOTE: This idea was later expanded in thread #24 into a full story, called "Drunk Hayoda.")

''"In other news, I love picturing drunk Hayoda having a meltdown/tantrum. Hahahaha...."

"That's how he confesses he feelings to Irah."

Hayoda: I love you I do.

Irah: I eerr...Love you too.

Hayoda: No no no. I REALLY love you.

Irah: You're not thinking str-

Hayoda: I want to marry you! (Starts crying) Why don't you love me?

Cousins
"During a discussion on how, if at all, Ozai and Ursa should be treated in Gaang Jr, this amusing thing popped out:"

"'I think it'd be amusing, though probably too much on the crack-addled side, if Ursa and Hakoda ended up together. Imagine the reaction when Katara and Zuko found out they were now related. And the even more hilariously histrionic reactions when Katara and Azula realized they were stepsisters.'"

Hayoda: If he marries your grandmother, Irah, we'll be cousins! And then our kids - they'll be horrible freaks with pink skin, no overbites - and five fingers on each hand!

How Did I Get It Again?
"There's no consensus at all about how Hayoda got his father's Space Sword, or even if he has it at all..."

"'He took a few hints from Kazuma, it changes every time, not even Tseng remembers:'"

Hayoda: "Yeah, I won it."

Tseng: "No you didn't, you found it in the forest, remember the stone?"

Hayoda:"No, no, no. It was in that temple on an altar."

Chuan
Irah: (sigh) Hayoda, are you sure this is the right way out of the forest?

Hayoda: Of course I'm sure! the town should just be past that rock over there!

Tseng: (tiredly) You mean the one that we passed by five times?

Chuan: (to Tseng) Any reason why you have this guy as your leader?

Tseng: Eh, truth to tell he just assumed he was.

Chuan: (cough-cough) Uh-huh, let sleeping crocdogs lie, hmmm?

Hayoda: Hey! I'm right here you know!

Chuan: (Sarcastically) Yes go ahead and shout when I'm right next to you. Who knows, maybe you'll get the forest spirits to magically get us out.

Hayoda: Rea.... (realizes Chuan is being sarcastic) I hate you so much.

Chuan: Feeling's mutual, Captain Moron the rusty sea dog.

(...)

(After Chuan sneaks the Gaang Jr. out)

Yi Lin: Hey, why don't you come with us?

Hayoda: (makes rapid shushing and no way gestures)

Chuan: I...Thanks, I really appreciate the offer.

Hayoda: (looks utterly horrifed)

Chuan: ...but I can't.

Hayoda: Yes! (pumps arm)

Chuan: (Sarcastically) Yeah, and I love you too, ya big jerk.

Yi Lin: (staring at the two with a wide eyed expression - yep, its the THIS IS PROOF face)

Irah: (looks at Yi Lin's expression, and facepalms)

Spring Break
Hayoda: SPRING BREAK! WOOOOO!

Irah: But Hayoda, our whole lives are like Spring Break.

Hayoda: >:| Spring. Break. Woo.

Exaggeration
"'You know those stories where the characters tell a depiction of events through their perspective? Like that episode of KND? Pretty much what was going through my mind at the time:'"

Hayoda: "...and that's how I beat Fenghuang in Hand to hand combat."

Tseng: "I was there, Hayoda, I know you're lying. And what exactly is 'Fighting in the NINETIES?'"

Siblings
''The small rock flies into the back of Hayoda's head, causing him to spit out the fruit juice he was drinking. He looks around for his assailant, finding only his sister.''

Hayoda: Hey!

Oblivious to the assault on her brother, Yue turns, sweetly and innocently.

Yue: What?

''He eyes her suspiciously for a moment. Is this the first sign of a mutiny? Is the crew toying with him, testing his reactions to surprise assaults? No, not Yue. She would never be party to such a thing.''

Hayoda: Oh, nothing.

''Yue returns to whatever it was she was doing, while Hayoda returns to taking another delicious sip of his apple mango drink. But as he swallows the beverage, another small pebble careens with the back of his head, causing him to spit out the drink.''